Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Hum.....

I am not sure I am ever going to get things right in this life.  I have many doubts as a single parent that I am just not good enough for my little one.  Then I think I must be cause this is what God wants for me.  I often at times think that he has more belief in myself than I ever have.  Right now I feel like I am just not good enough.  I don't know why I feel this way cause I should be very proud of myself and all that I have been doing in my life since I lost Dayna.  You know it is amazing how much power Satan can have on us sometimes.  How he knows us so well and is able to take our weaknesses and use them against us.  I guess you could explain my head as swimming.  I have so many thoughts just running through my head. I have tried very hard not to ask the "why me, why do I have to go through this?" question.  Right now though that is totally how I feel.  I miss my husband still so very much.  Right now what I wouldn't give to just have him hold me. 

I need to go running. It always helps me to clear my head.  I am so grateful for the blessing of being able to move my body.  Also that I can run and it can help to release the emotions that are inside of me.  It is an outlet that is a blessing to me.  I am also so blessed to have such wonderful caring friends.  I am blessed no matter how I am feeling right now I can't say that I am truly not blessed. Thanks everyone.

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