Small Lesson learned on pray

So I know that God ALWAYS answers my prayers no matter how small they are.  Like when I lost my mail key. I couldn't find it until I said a prayer asking for help.  Well today I came home and some how had lost my phone.  I even did the GPS and it said it was in my house but I COULD NOT find it.  Oh and calling it doesn't help when its on silent.  So I said several prayers but still could not find it.  So then my son got to help look.  Still couldn't find it.  Not until we stopped and together said a prayer did I find my phone (like 1 min later).  The lesson learned was that my son needed to see my faith and also express his own in God's power to help us. 

Preschool..... He is growing up to fast

So today Dallin got to go see his preschool teachers while mommy filled out paperwork.  He was so excited he ran up to a random parent thinking it was Miss Ashley screaming "Miss Ashley!"  He was confused why she did say hi to him from far away.  Then I told him that wasn't her but she would be inside.

Dallin Playing in his preschool class room.

Dallin and Miss Ashley

Miss Linda, Dallin, & Mommy

I will have to get a picture with him and his backpack on Thursday and since I am not able to be there when he gets picked up by the bus Miss Julie at daycare will take his photo getting on the bus..  He is just getting so big, smart, and older.  He will ALWAYS be my Little Man even when he is 20 and on his mission.  Moments like today remind me how fast time can go by when your children are growing up.

Company

Today we had some wonderful company from St. George.  The Erekson's came to visit and play with us today.  Dallin was so excited to see his friends and on there way out the door kept begging to go to their house with them.  He missed his friends and I missed my friend too.

We even took a small walk and went to my little play area for a while.

Dallin playing in the baby swing.

 Summer did lots of Underdogs while I mostly watched Kay, Kay :)

Thanks Summer for coming a spending a few wonderful hours with us before going back home.  You only tried to talk me into moving closer twice and Ryan once.  So were down from the 20 each visit.  We fell so loved and bless to have you all in our lives.  Love yea.

7 Peaks

 

So we went to 7 peaks today and had such a wonderful time.  I even remembered to pack the camera and came home with several great pictures of Dallin.  There is one of the two of us but its just a bit to scary looking for me to share.

As you can see Dallin enjoy the water toys in the kids pool.  He kept saying "cheese" for each photo that I took of him.  I have many more to share but they are all on Facebook.  So on here I will only share some of my favorites.

This is Dallin hugging "his snake".  I just found it SO cute.  I tried to get a photo of him swimming underwater but the camera was never around when he was swimming.  He did it the most out in the wave pool when we were in 5 ft water.  Not the best place for a camera that is not waterproof.

going to take more photos of us this year.  Something I use to be better at but haven't done so well lately.  I use to be a good cause of the advice of a great scrap-booking friend.  Always keep your camera in your purse so that you have it for all those tender moments.  So this week I put it back into my purse.  Today it was charged, had its memory card, and go used.  I am sooo proud of myself. Oh and on a side note.  My Crash and Burn has left me with a hurt wrist.  I now have to have it in a brace for a few weeks.  The doctor said to be careful with it and not use it to much.  Haha this gave me a laugh.  I think she forgot that I am a single mother with a VERY busy/active child.

I knew I had one of him underwater.   That thing underwater would be Dallin swimming :)

I Crashed and Burned but in STYLE

So funny story here.  I went out on a play date the other night.  It was super fun and Dallin and I had a really wonderful time.  Part of the activities was to take the kids on a walk in our strollers.  Well me being the new girl who hasn't really used one, oh and was totally going for a great impression here crashed and burned (but in style at least) trying to run down a small little down hill area.  Oh it was the funnest thing around and all adults present had a wonderful laugh.  I personally think it was my crowning moment.  You know one of those moment when the other person says.  Hey she can crash with style I think I can hang out with her some more.  This play date will go down in history just for that one moment.

Dallin had a wonderful time making a new friend who once she got used to his wide side had a good time with him as well.  Her baby sister is about as cute as can be and I could just hold her for a long time.  You know get that baby fix that I need every once in a while ( o.k. more like once every other week).   Babies are just so sweet and wonderful. This one is no exception.  She is a good baby and even allowed me to feed her and get her dinner all over her face.  Hey what can I say I have been out of practice for like 3 years.  :)  I feel very blessed for our new friendships that we made.  Were excited to go on another play date next week to the aquarium with our new friends.

Oh and on a side note I have slowed down a bit on the pace of my run after my fall but I am still running through the little bit of pain.  You know No Pain, No Gain.   Its nice to have a friend who I can be a bit competitive with.  I like a good challenge and I am not a big fan of losing when I am trying to win. Now if I could careless if I lose that is different but this time I want to at least tie.  Alright who am I lying to, I want to kick some butt because he can already run 12 miles down hill and I am now like 9.5 miles behind that amount ( that slow down took my distance down too ).  So if I can make a great show then I can at least feel like I REALLY earned it.  I still love running and can't wait for Jan.  

Life is good. Really it is hard times and all

So today's church lesson was on Job. I sat there listening to the lesson thinking.  I think I am getting there.  What is there you ask?  Being joyful even in hard times, being grateful for what I have even when I don't have much, knowing that God is real as his church is true, having Dallin for all the good and hard times.  I am just happy. Life is not perfect nor will it ever be really in this life time of mine.  Yet, that is o.k.  How can you not be grateful when even in the hardest times of my life I have been so greatly blessed.  The Lord truly loves me and continues to bless me in anyway that we need. 

There are some exciting things that are happening in our lives over the next month. I am excited for each new thing that is going on in my life.  I can't wait to start my practicum Sept 7.  That is just a few weeks away.  I can't believe I am finally there.  Its time to start doing what I want to really do in life.  To start to learn, grow, and stretch myself over the next year. I know that life will not be easy but it will be worth it.  The next year I might not know what all will happen but I am looking forward to them all the hard ones and well as the good ones.

Also I am still enjoying running.  I have moved past the 5k yet but I still have 5 months to get to my half marathon goal.  I am excited to get in good shape and to continue to enjoy the blessing that come from running.  Oh and on a positive side of running each day is that I have lost 5 lbs this week.  Now if I can just keep that amount each week up for like the whole training time then I will be back to my cute skinny person who has been missing for a while.  All I can say is that life is good and I am soo excited for it all right now.  Thank you Heavenly Father for all of it.  May they will be done in my life and may I learn to love it all and learn from it too. 

What have I gotten myself into

Anyone who really knows me knows that I can be stubborn, jump first think later, and competitive. So due to this my mouth has gotten me into a new challenge which in truth I am not sure I can do (the fear). Oh course I can't really admit to that right now cause that would be throwing in the towel before I have even begun to try.  I have made a commitment to run in a half marathon in January in St. George.  Really?  What am I thinking.  Well I know what I am thinking but we'll hold off on that one for a while.

So I have some goals to go with this. I want to continue to get in shape. Losing my extra fluff would be really nice too.  So that is goal number one.  Goal number two is to push myself to do something that I never in this life time thought I could do or really want to do so that is goal #2.  Goal number three is to win cause I don't want to have to wear the shirt with his photo saying I lost to him in whatever terms we decide to write it for a week or in my case for every weekend for a month and also have to post that same photo as my profile photo on facebook for a month. Oh and loser buys dinner. The stakes are high here cause I want to get through this but sometimes I don't believe in myself enough. So I am hoping that my stubborn side kicks in and pushes me over the hill and to the end.

So that being said I am SO excited to do this.  To have a bet along with it and to challenge myself to do something that is so new to me.  I have a few ideas why I am so excited but once more those are for my head to think through and work on.   What a way to kick off the new year.  Its interesting for the last 18 years I haven't really cared about being healthy.  Yet, this last 6 months being healthy has started to be a concern for me.  I still eat crap that I shouldn't but I now care more about what I eat and feel guilt when I eat crap and I put more healthy choices in my mouth and less of the crap in it too.  I never before this summer liked to run.  I thought oh I get to sweaty, its so boring, and I just hate it but now I LOVE IT.  I feel so much better about myself, life, and am a better parent cause I run.  Its like a need that I have to have.  Don't get me wrong there are days when it's just so hard to get up and run and I have to push myself to do it.  Those days are the most rewarding in at the end of the run.  Who knew I was a runner?  So right now the big emotion is excited >:o)  OH I am just so happy.

Smiles this week >:o)

 So in someways I am a very simple person. It doesn't take much to put a smile on my face.  I am so very, very blessed to have some of the greatest friends in the world.  I know you think I am just saying that but really I have great friends.  Even if it just a smile on my Facebook. They cheer me up, pray for me, serve me, and support me in so many ways.  I feel so blessed and grateful for each of them.  I don't think that they know just how much they mean to mean.  How much the kind things they do for me, matter to me and Dallin.  I am sooo very blessed with great friends.  My family is pretty great too.  My mom worries about me more than I think she should but that just goes to show you how much she loves me.


School is going good and I continue to do well at it. I NEVER thought that I could do this. I never told in all my years of life that I would of ever chosen to get my Master's yet here I am doing it and doing it well.  I start my practicum soon and I can't wait! I am sooo excited.  My house (other than my room) look good.  I have a wonderful staying with me for a few days. I am making new friends.  I have a smile on my face lately that just seems to even when it leaves comes back soon.  I just want everyone to know how much I am blessed with amazing people in our lives.  Thank you.

Wondering where my journey will take me in the next year.

So over the last week I have been thinking about starting my practicum this next semester.  I wonder am I really ready to start doing true therapy?  Is this really what I want to do ( I know kind of late to be thinking that).  How can I ready myself for all that I need to learn to do well in this new adventure and career.  How am I going to balance this all and have time for everything in my life?  Then I sit back and think God opened this door for me and I would be a nut not to continue down this path that he is guiding me on.  He has helped (along with many others) me to get this far.  He can see me through the rest of my life to the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Over the last 3 years since losing Dayna I have grown so much.  I am becoming better at listen to that still small voice. I am being prepared to help many other people in life and to become a tool for the Savior to use.  I know that the church is true with all of my heart I know.  I know that my choices aren't what others would make but for me they are right.  My son knows he is the world to me.  That he is able to mend my broken heart when I miss is daddy so much and the pain is just to strong all I have to do is hold him and it just melts away.

Today my friend laughed at me when I said you know I think I am done having kids.  I just don't think that I will be given the chance to have another one.  She laughed and said you'll get married once more, your young.  Then she said and you still fertile and have plenty of time to have a another one or two.  That makes me think. What does my future hold?  Where will God take me on this journey?  There is a huge piece of me that feels ready to find another.  Then there are times when I still feel so connected to Dayna that I am not sure I can.   This thought has lead me to think that for me I could only really find another in a widower. Someone who understands and has been through this too.  Even though each of our journeys is different there is something in know that they know just how it feels for you at times and you don't have to explain it cause they just get it.

So maybe one day another wonderful man will come into our lives and we will be blessed to share our time together on this earth.  Someone who can love my son and me.  Who is willing to share their lives with us.  I know Dayna wants me to be happy. That he would be happy for me if I found another great man to marry in this life.  Yet, he only wants the best for us.  He doesn't want me to settle in anyway.  I think in many ways some of the men I have dated lately I was settling for.  Loneliness is a hard thing to deal with when you know there is more.  When you shared your life with another and were so happy.  To know what true joy is like.  To have gotten to taste it and now miss it.  I want that once more.  I know it will different if I marry once more.  That, that love will in its own way be special and different.  That I will be able to love him fully but it will be different.  I also know that God directed me to the right man once. He will direct me to another if that is what he has planned for me.  For now I am just going on the journey. Learning to enjoy the moments.  Finding joy in life and learning how to become better and be worthy to return home with Dayna.  I am excited to see where God takes me over the next year.  Hugs to you all.

Hum.....

I am not sure I am ever going to get things right in this life.  I have many doubts as a single parent that I am just not good enough for my little one.  Then I think I must be cause this is what God wants for me.  I often at times think that he has more belief in myself than I ever have.  Right now I feel like I am just not good enough.  I don't know why I feel this way cause I should be very proud of myself and all that I have been doing in my life since I lost Dayna.  You know it is amazing how much power Satan can have on us sometimes.  How he knows us so well and is able to take our weaknesses and use them against us.  I guess you could explain my head as swimming.  I have so many thoughts just running through my head. I have tried very hard not to ask the "why me, why do I have to go through this?" question.  Right now though that is totally how I feel.  I miss my husband still so very much.  Right now what I wouldn't give to just have him hold me. 

I need to go running. It always helps me to clear my head.  I am so grateful for the blessing of being able to move my body.  Also that I can run and it can help to release the emotions that are inside of me.  It is an outlet that is a blessing to me.  I am also so blessed to have such wonderful caring friends.  I am blessed no matter how I am feeling right now I can't say that I am truly not blessed. Thanks everyone.

Sundays are my days to remember >:o)

Many times I get myself so busy in my life that I often forget to take the time to just enjoy the wonderful moments in my life.  I am sure that part of this is just me staying busy so that I can lessen the hurt that comes into my life when I start thinking about Dayna.  I love and miss him sooo much.  I know he is our angel watching over us and guiding us in our lives.  Its just that I miss not having him here with us.  There is still such a piece of my life that is still missing so much.   I know it takes time to heal and that these things can't be rushed. Each of us in our own time will heal and move forward into a new and different change in our lives.

There has been a few discussions with some of my friends in my life about dating.  It has been over 3 years and I have dated.  I just don't know if it is going to really happen for me once more.  I want it to but I just wonder if it is going to happen for me once more.  I am still young and would love to have more than one child in my home.  I am not saying that I am not totally happy in my life.  It is just that I do not feel complete in it.  I feel like there is more for me to have and do.  Some of those things mean that I would need to get remarried.  I want to do the things that God wants me to do. I am trying so hard to follow his path for me.  I know that getting my Master's degree is the right thing for me.  That I am going to do wonderful things as a MFT.  I can't wait to start that part of my life and begin doing therapy with families.  To help bring about changes that will make other peoples lives better. 

Lastly I want to say THANK YOU to all my wonderful friends and family.  You all have done so many wonderful things for me. I feel so very, very blessed to know you all and have you in our lives.  So many of you are always so willing to help my son and I.  I know many of you pray for us and that we are in your thoughts and prayers.  God has put you all in my life because I need you all.  Each of you in many different ways.  I just want you to all know how grateful I am for each and everyone of you in my life.