It is my fault but in a good way.

So the last two weeks have been crappy for me.  I just got myself into one of those poor me pity parties and could not get out of it.  Then things just keep happening or as I think "piling on top of each other" that I just couldn't shake my little depressed state.  So today I went to stake conference where Jeffery Holland spoke.  He didn't say things that I didn't know but he reminded me that we all have struggles and that we need God and need to allow him into our lives.  That with him all things are possible.  Then he said this "God will make us equal to the task".  That was like a slap in my face.  Just because I am single doesn't mean I need to find someone and in truth there is a good chance it wont happen anytime soon.  I have the abilities and resources to live my life and to be happy in it.  God knows me and what I need in my life.  It might be hard to trust him that being single right now is what I need but I am going to try very hard.  I am going to put all my trust in him and just live my life.  If I get a chance with someone to have a relationship great for us.  Yet, I would rather stay single than be married and unhappy or even dating someone and stressing them out over anything like (distance, time, religion, looks, children, education, and so many other stresses you can add to a relationship).  I am so grateful for the friends that I have, and for the relationships that I am building with each of them.  There is a reason I talk to some more than others.  Its alright if were both just lonely and its were friends that fill up that need.  Its o.k. if there is interest in someone but because of religion its NEVER going to happen.  Its o.k. that school, Dallin, church, and work come first in my life at times over dating.  Its o.k. if I meet and become friends and that is all it ever is.  Why is its all o.k.?  Because God will make me equal to the tasks in my life.  He knows if I will be happier married or single.  If there is another who I will meet and be happy with.  He knows and because he knows I will put all my trust in him and just be HAPPY.  I will look at my life and remember and be grateful for all my blessings and friendships.  I guess for to long I thought I was not able to do this alone.  That I NEEDED someone in my life for it to be complete.  In truth that is not so and also I truly don't want to be married to just be unhappy, have someone who truly doesn't love us, who isn't what I really want for a partner.  Only time will tell what is to happen and become in my life.  I look forward the the journey's I am taking.  I am truly grateful for ALL my friends, each of them means something special to me and fills me up in areas I need filling.  I am so glad to have a friend that calls when I need it, for one who is willing to just "hang out" with us and let me bet him that I will kick his butt running, for the friend who has watched my son so many times for me while I have class.  For the friend who is now watching my son while I do my week classes.  For the friend who tells me how good I look and she can see the weight coming off that I am so hard trying to lose.  For the friend who is my friend but most important Dallin's friend or "OUR FRIEND" as Dallin calls her.  For the friend that calls and checks up on me because she is thinking of me even though she is busy and pregnant. For the friend who got me to go for my master's program and who is such a good boss and friend. My list could go on and on.  I have so many wonderful, important, and needed friends in my life.  To all of you thank you from me with all my heart.  You each bring more happiness into my life.  You lift me up when I am sad, encourage me to keep going forward, and bring a smile on my face by your funny personalities.  Thank you all.