Saturday, September 11, 2010

I remember 9/11

Today as we were driving back from pick up a box of peaches Dallin was looking out the car window and saw Macey's flag at half mast.  He ask "Momma why is the flag coming down".  Well I took this moment to talk with him about what happened 9 years ago on that horrible day.  I told him that it was a sign of morning, and remembering for people.  Telling him about all the lives that were lost and given on that day.  He said "oh momma, they died that day.  I'm sad momma."  To some they never talk about death.  Once they go through the loss of someone close they just can't talk about it.  In our family we talk about it and we celebrate the lives that are taken from us.  I might not fully understand why Dayna and others are taken from us so quickly and unexpected.  Yet, I put my trust in God that he DOES know all and he all things will be made right.


On a second note right now I am dealing with loneliness.  I just don't know how much longer I really want to be single.  I know there are some people I could be with and date if I would knock down my morals.  To be honest on weeks like this I really consider it.  I miss holding hands, cuddling, kissing, talking, sharing, giving, cooking for someone, cleaning for someone, watching movies, playing games, and so many other things that come with having a partner.  My question that I would like to answered is "Will I find another mate in this life?"  Part of me just want to also give up those I like aren't really interested in me more than just friends, or those who like me I just don't feel a connection with.  I wasn't a fan of dating the first time and now a even lesser fan the second time around. Alright my venting is done.  I know I am blessed and that God knows what he is doing and will bring someone into my life if it really will be the best for us.  Sometimes faith, trust, and enduring is a struggle but always worth it.

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