Dallin Singing :P

Dallin really is enjoying preschool. He is learning so much.  One Friday I picked him up and he shared the cutest song with me.  So I thought I would share them with you all as well.  Enjoy they sure made me giggle.

What?

Alright so I am a little bugged right now.  I know that I shouldn't be but I am. First off I am NOT dating anyone seriously. That statement is not meaning that I want to something serious right now either.  Second is that I really was taking my bet with my friend seriously and now I think he isn't going to race it with me.  I am sad about this but I am not going to let it stop me from doing it. Alright negative stuff out of me on to the positive.

Things in my life are going well.  School is keeping me busy, busy, busy. Practicum is doing well and also keeping me really, really, busy.  I am so excited to go to the temple Friday and then for conference next weekend.  I have a few things on my mind that I am praying about, that I believe will be answered or at least I will get some peace on them during conference.

The other good news is Dallin is learning to read.  He began is first beginning reader last week and is doing the best in his preschool class in reading.  I will post a few videos of his singing that are just way to cute that Miss. Julie taught him.  He is a really bright child and LOVES to read and learn. 

I am taking some of my own words of advice and really trying to hold strong to the truth that God is directing my life.  He knows what is best for me and that I need to hold strong to the fact that I know he is very aware of me and knows what is best for me in all areas of my life.  He has some great things in store for me I just have to have faith and keep moving forward.

I need something.....

I usually try to be very positive, remember my blessing, and stay positive but right now I am not.  I am just emotionally on empty right now.  I am frustrated at my job, I have homework coming out my ears, and I am getting more loaded on me at Pracitcum. Right now I just feel like I can't take this for much longer.  Yet, then I remember that this is in part my fault.  I took on more classes than they thought I should so that I would not have to waste a year doing nothing but waiting for them to offer one class.  So how much can I complain for being on empty when in part it is my own doing.  I just need it to be Oct 14 a lot sooner than it will be. That weekend might just be a great weekend of fun activities.  Also then two classes will be done and a 3rd almost done.  That will help out a lot.  I guess I know what I need I just need to move things around so I can make some time at the temple.  Its been longer then it should of been since I have been.  I believe not only is God telling I need to go but so is my spirit and body.  It just would help me process this all better.  I am hoping to go Friday before conference and miss pracitcum that day so I can go while Dallin is at daycare.  Anyone want to come along who can if I can get it all worked out to be able to go?  I am thinking the 3pm session at Mt Timp.  Email at comicman444@msn.com if you want to come along.  Hugs and thanks for letting me process it all out.

Saturday Out and About

Today Dallin and I went on a lunch date with our friend Esther.  We had a wonderful time eating at sweet tomatoes in Sandy.  The best was that I did not have to drive.  Dallin enjoyed his frozen yogurt with sprinkles.

Esther and Dallin at Sweet Tomatoes

Then after lunch we took Dallin to his favorite park over by the Orem Police station.  He calls it the yellow and green slide park :)

As you can see he likes the green slide the best to go down but the yellow is the best to climb up but he wouldn't stay still while climbing for me to photo him with that one.

We had a wonderful date day together with one of our dearest friends.  Its moments like today that I am reminded how blessed I am and how many wonderful people we have in our lives. 

Practicum has started............... :)

So anyone who knows me very well knows that I don't do well when I am nervous.  First Date with Dayna I was sick the whole time (part due to having same day surgery).  So last night I didn't sleep well.  I think I got a total of 3 hours if that.  I just get myself so nervous about things sometimes.  I think my recent "playdates" were the first time I hung out with someone was was not a basket case before hand.  Well I was a little bit but it was do able.   Anyways today was my first day of practicum.  I was so nervous and the closer it got to 1 p.m. the sicker my stomach got.  I am grateful that I had someone to chat with up until I had to run to get there on time.  It helped to be joking around rather then sitting there talking about it and getting more worked up.  So I left work and headed to start my time as a therapist.  When I got there I met my first client (individual therapy which I didn't think would start until next week).  Then right after that hour got over I went right into a 2 hour woman's group.  These were my first two experiences doing therapy.  In the individual therapy I was all alone with the client and in the group my supervisor was with me.  They were both such a great start to therapy. Now I know not all my days will be this great or go this good.  I mean come on I am working with drug and alcohol clients.  Some of which are court ordered but most are there by choice. ( age 18-30ish).   As I sat there with my clients it was just like nature took over.  I just went with what was in my head and listened.  Several times my individual client kept saying "I don't know why I am telling you this".  Which just helped me to see that this is something I can do and that people will have a easy time for the most part talking to me.  My supervisor said I did very well in group and she knows I will be fine running it all by myself next time.  She also liked my ideas of where I would like to go with group and individual therapy.  I am just so excited for this new adventure and where my life will go as a therapist.  I am so excited for this time of my life. I am so grateful for my practicum site and their willingness to teach, guide, and work with me.   Thank you to all my friends and family for your support, well wishes, and prayers. It truly was a good day.

It is my fault but in a good way.

So the last two weeks have been crappy for me.  I just got myself into one of those poor me pity parties and could not get out of it.  Then things just keep happening or as I think "piling on top of each other" that I just couldn't shake my little depressed state.  So today I went to stake conference where Jeffery Holland spoke.  He didn't say things that I didn't know but he reminded me that we all have struggles and that we need God and need to allow him into our lives.  That with him all things are possible.  Then he said this "God will make us equal to the task".  That was like a slap in my face.  Just because I am single doesn't mean I need to find someone and in truth there is a good chance it wont happen anytime soon.  I have the abilities and resources to live my life and to be happy in it.  God knows me and what I need in my life.  It might be hard to trust him that being single right now is what I need but I am going to try very hard.  I am going to put all my trust in him and just live my life.  If I get a chance with someone to have a relationship great for us.  Yet, I would rather stay single than be married and unhappy or even dating someone and stressing them out over anything like (distance, time, religion, looks, children, education, and so many other stresses you can add to a relationship).  I am so grateful for the friends that I have, and for the relationships that I am building with each of them.  There is a reason I talk to some more than others.  Its alright if were both just lonely and its were friends that fill up that need.  Its o.k. if there is interest in someone but because of religion its NEVER going to happen.  Its o.k. that school, Dallin, church, and work come first in my life at times over dating.  Its o.k. if I meet and become friends and that is all it ever is.  Why is its all o.k.?  Because God will make me equal to the tasks in my life.  He knows if I will be happier married or single.  If there is another who I will meet and be happy with.  He knows and because he knows I will put all my trust in him and just be HAPPY.  I will look at my life and remember and be grateful for all my blessings and friendships.  I guess for to long I thought I was not able to do this alone.  That I NEEDED someone in my life for it to be complete.  In truth that is not so and also I truly don't want to be married to just be unhappy, have someone who truly doesn't love us, who isn't what I really want for a partner.  Only time will tell what is to happen and become in my life.  I look forward the the journey's I am taking.  I am truly grateful for ALL my friends, each of them means something special to me and fills me up in areas I need filling.  I am so glad to have a friend that calls when I need it, for one who is willing to just "hang out" with us and let me bet him that I will kick his butt running, for the friend who has watched my son so many times for me while I have class.  For the friend who is now watching my son while I do my week classes.  For the friend who tells me how good I look and she can see the weight coming off that I am so hard trying to lose.  For the friend who is my friend but most important Dallin's friend or "OUR FRIEND" as Dallin calls her.  For the friend that calls and checks up on me because she is thinking of me even though she is busy and pregnant. For the friend who got me to go for my master's program and who is such a good boss and friend. My list could go on and on.  I have so many wonderful, important, and needed friends in my life.  To all of you thank you from me with all my heart.  You each bring more happiness into my life.  You lift me up when I am sad, encourage me to keep going forward, and bring a smile on my face by your funny personalities.  Thank you all.

I remember 9/11

Today as we were driving back from pick up a box of peaches Dallin was looking out the car window and saw Macey's flag at half mast.  He ask "Momma why is the flag coming down".  Well I took this moment to talk with him about what happened 9 years ago on that horrible day.  I told him that it was a sign of morning, and remembering for people.  Telling him about all the lives that were lost and given on that day.  He said "oh momma, they died that day.  I'm sad momma."  To some they never talk about death.  Once they go through the loss of someone close they just can't talk about it.  In our family we talk about it and we celebrate the lives that are taken from us.  I might not fully understand why Dayna and others are taken from us so quickly and unexpected.  Yet, I put my trust in God that he DOES know all and he all things will be made right.


On a second note right now I am dealing with loneliness.  I just don't know how much longer I really want to be single.  I know there are some people I could be with and date if I would knock down my morals.  To be honest on weeks like this I really consider it.  I miss holding hands, cuddling, kissing, talking, sharing, giving, cooking for someone, cleaning for someone, watching movies, playing games, and so many other things that come with having a partner.  My question that I would like to answered is "Will I find another mate in this life?"  Part of me just want to also give up those I like aren't really interested in me more than just friends, or those who like me I just don't feel a connection with.  I wasn't a fan of dating the first time and now a even lesser fan the second time around. Alright my venting is done.  I know I am blessed and that God knows what he is doing and will bring someone into my life if it really will be the best for us.  Sometimes faith, trust, and enduring is a struggle but always worth it.

First day of Preschool

Today was Dallin's first real day of preschool where the bus came and picked him up and everything.  Thanks to Miss Julie we got some great photos of the event.  Dallin just loves getting picked up by the bus and all the kids at daycare think he is cool because the bus comes and picks him up. :)

Daycare kids waiting for the bus with Dallin


Here comes the bus.

Getting ready to get for his first day of preschool.

He loves his new bus drivers already.  Then again his lack of males in his life makes him like them lots sooner.  This year is starting out to be a good school year.  Dallin is very excited to go to school and see all his "New" friends.  He is getting so big. This is just another step in growing up.