So I this morning I was sitting at work. Reading emails, looking at facebook, and just sitting here, when all of the sudden GRIEF hits me HARD. It was out of no where. There was no reason for it like, a photo, memory, or something like that. It was just there and it just HURT. I just sat here at my window trying so hard to not cry. I just sat here hurting, hurting really bad cause I miss him. I miss my life with him. I miss what I thought we would have by now in our lives but the biggest reason is I JUST MISS DAYNA. Right now even after 4 years it still hurts like it was yesterday. My heart literally hurts in my chest. Times like this have no warning, so you can prepare for them. They are sudden without reason and they just HURT. In an hour or two it wont hurt so badly like it does right now.
Anyone who has lost someone know what I talking about. Anyone who has gone through grief knows what is like. If your new to this whole grief process, let me tell you, you are normal, what your going thorugh is normal. That there is not time limit on your griefing process. There isn't a time when you have to stop grieving or as some say "that you should be over it". Grief is a sign of love. It means someone you once cared about is gone from your life in whatever form that they left it. That you miss them and are allowed to miss them. That you can expect the unexpected to happen at times when your not prepared for it to be there. I hope you can find comfort in knowing that you are not alone. That others are going through this battle right along with you. Yes, I call it a battle because of how much it hurts and what it takes out of you to come out of it each time. It is a battle to not let it take you over and for you to come back from it. Also know that you truly are NEVER alone. Jesus is there he knows and feels your pain right along with you. He will send his comforter to you if you but ask for it. Angels are there and ready to minister to you during your time of need. NEVER FORGET THIS. My you have comfort in knowing you are Normal and not ALONE.
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Terri, I feel like you wrote this directly to me because I so needed to hear exactly this! I felt so much peace as I was reading it and in my head could see Nikki with her BEAUTIFUL smile. I question my grief being "normal" all the time because of what others say to tear me down. But who is to say how and when I can grieve over my sister? You're completely right! I also completely agree that it is a battle I can't let take over me. I need to ask for our Savior's comfort more when I really need it. You are truly an amazing woman Terri and I admire how strong you are even though you might not think you are. You have been such a comfort to me in my grief and I love you for that!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jami. Your AMAZING and never forget that. Your sister is truly blessed to have you love her SO much. :)
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