Leap of faith

So this weekend I took a leap of faith.  I jumped the fence on a friendship/relationship to the other side.  I couldn't even tell him I was leaving I just sent an email saying I had to leave for a while.  I don't know if I will return in this persons life ever but for now I need distance.  It's hard cause he is one of my god friends, who knows everything about me.  Yet, the problem is when I was watching "he's just not that into you."  It made me see that he is just not that into me like I want out of someone I am with.  Everything in our friendship is on his terms.  I can't do this, I need to just walk.  The sad thing is as I wrote the email I the whole time I was just hoping he would make an effort to show me I really mattered.  As my widower friend and I have decided this dating thing SUCKS!!!! 

I had a wonderful time with the sister missionaries tonight.  It was just wonderful to visit with them and to have them in our home today.  It was just wonderful and we had a wonderful time.  It was so an amazing night or just chatting.  It was all nice and they were the best. :D  God does bless us in amazing ways that we don't even know all of them. I love raising Dallin and he is getting so big.  Each day he gets older and older away from the baby he once was.  I little man is growing up. 

I don't know what life is going to bring me in the next 8/9 months.  All I know is that I am going in the direction that I should be.  I just wish I could get a small glimpse as to what is to come of my life.  where I am going, what I am doing, who I am with, where I am working,  anything really. I mean come on can't I get a little view?   All good, I am blessed and watched over.  This whole journey I am on right now is a leap of faith.  I just keep moving forward to end up where God wants me.  At times I just want to run around and around until I pass out.  It is hard to know just what I am doing and where else God me to do and learn but I will do it.  I will continue to take that leap of faith.  I will keep going until the end of time.  We will see where I go and what I  will do will and what I will become.  Life is just a nice big LEAP OF FAITH.