Sometimes life needs a Second Look.

So I was think back on my life today. I was thinking back about 3 or 4 months ago.  When I was in the processing of a relationship that I cared very much about was ending.  It hurt very much and I was hurt by the person.  I am sure if you asked him my actions hurt him and things were going to end anyways.  Life always has different views depending on who you as and what their side of it is about.  I don't care so much anymore that things ended.  Well in truth I am grateful, very grateful that they ended. I see that he needed someone closer to him, that was more small town minded than I am, and who wasn't as stubborn about things as I am.  Its not that he is a bad guy or anything was wrong with him per-say it is just that he was not the right person for me.  That I deserved more in different ways than he could offer Dallin and I.  What he has to offer can and I am sure one day work for someone else but for us looking back I can now see that it wasn't the best thing for us.  God allowed me to choose because i have agency but he had a better plan for me if I was just willing to listen and follow his path.  I always can choose whatever I want but some choices aren't going to make me the happiest in the end.  Since God is a loving, kind, and giving God he wants what is best for me.  That person was not who was best for me.  He could be the best for someone else but the person is not me.  Does that make sense?  I am very glad that things turned out the way they did.  I learned much from that relationship.  I gain much from the struggle I had to go in and out of it.  I bettered myself because of the whole experience of it. I am a better person for having been through it all.  I will be able to us what I learned and experienced while doing therapy with others.  In the end what I went through is a blessing to me and for me.  Even though it still was not the best choice that God wanted for me he still blessed me because of it.  His love for me is there even when I am not the best Daughter of God.  I am so humbled by his love and kindness towards me.  I am truly blessed.

Often I think that when we are going through things we are not able to have a clear picture of the situations because we are to much in them.  Its hard to be open about things when are emotions and feelings are wrapped in them.  Yet, if we can look back on the good and bad and see the blessing from them we are better for them.  I think to often we are so negative about life, experiences, pains, and love that we can't stop and see that each thing we go through has something to offer us.  It might be hard to go through it but think of the strength you have for being able to go through it.  Then next time

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a trail comes you will have more strength to go through that one because you got through this one.  We so often do not give ourselves enough credit for who we are or what we can do.  We so often down play the things we do and not see the strength and abilities we have because of them or for them.  We say oh I am just a mom or a student or a wife but forget to look that the strength that we have for doing them.  The greatness in us that we are hardly ever seen in us by us.  I am seeing more and more each day in me that I am great and there is nothing wrong with me being great.  If you don't think that I am as great as I think I am that is just fine. I don't live my life for you.  I am stronger than you know. I am happier because I can be.  I do because I can.  I am because God made me and he doesn't make mistakes.  Thank you God for all that I am and all that I have learned and gone through.