I have struggled with being organized, and having a clean house since my husband has passed. It was like when he died all my want to be clean and organized left me. This struggle has also caused me to struggle with my son. Yes, my son is VERY ADHD. He is on medication and without it gets sent to the principles office due to his impulsive decisions that he makes. We have struggled with getting him to clean his room, do his chores, and help me around the house. My goal in our home is that EVERYONE do their share. That their share is equal to their age though too. So as children get older their chores become bigger/more. I do not believe I should do it all or that my son should do it all. I also do not believe that my child should just play and not clean up after himself. He makes the mess he should clean it up or help clean it up if he was to small for the task. If he is big enough to make it he is big enough to clean too. I believe that in having this as a house rule and that it teaches my child responsibility. That I should not pay him to do things that being a part of a family requires. I also believe and am trying to put into play in our home that my child should have his own money which he learns to spend, save, and use throughout his life. That part of his allowance get taxed. Yes TAXED. It is real life, when you earn money you have to pay taxes on it and not ALL your taxes are returned to you at the end of the year either.
Any how, where is it that I am going with this stuff you ask? Well, the struggle to get my son to put his effort into helping around the house has been hard. He gets distracted so easy and I can't really babysit him while he does his chores to make sure they are done. If I did that I would NEVER get any of my stuff done either. We have tried using an allowance where if your chores are not done you have to pay the person who does them. That did not work at all. We have tried him getting things taken away, being grounded, mom asking kindly, encouragement, chore charts, chore charts with a mark off that it is done area, we have tried losing privileges, wii time and D.S. time being earned for them being done, and losing time for the not being done. I have read books, and followed said books too. Nothing really worked really well for us to say the least.
Then I tried a simple thing, I think that the Lord blessed my mind with the idea. This simple thing is found on all cell phones. It is called a timer. He sets the timer for 30 mins (that is his cleaning, chore doing time) then he gets to set it for 10 mins of play time. During this play time he can play anything he wants, wii, 3D ds, movies, shows, outside play, computer, well you get the idea. He gets to choose to do anything during that 10 mins. Once the 10 mins are up he reset the timer for another 30 mins. This goes on and on until his chores or tasks that he needs to get done are finished.
It has been a 360 of a change. I do not have to argue with him, I praise him for the good work he is doing, the effort he is making, for his follow through, and working hard when the task is hard. I am so proud of him. I do not have to do anything. He does it all, he cleans, he plays, he sets the timers and he gets to enjoy the rewards of his work. The coolest part is that when he gets started on a task there are a few times that he will continue to work, putting off his play time until he finishes the task that he is currently working on. This is his doing, not my suggesting him to do so. It has been very nice to not have to yell, fight, argue, demand, punish, or lose my mind. He checks the timer as he plays to see how much time he has left to play but does not check it while he is cleaning. Once more that is his doing and idea not mine.
We are also beginning to use said timer to help with dinner time and lunch time too, because those take FOREVER of him to finish also. Who knew (well I am sure a lot of you do) that a simple thing that is on every cell phone could change my son so dramatically as well as make my life so much easier. Yes, I know that the rewards and being able to see the reward helps him. I also know that this is helping to teach/train his mind to focus for small amounts of time but then give his head some fun time. What this timer is doing will bless his mind and him throughout his coming life. Being ADHD is a huge struggle for him but we are beginning to learn how to channel it and use it in a way that helps him to have success and a wonderful quality of life. I am one very proud, happy, and blessed single mother. Thank you Heavenly Father.
Any how, where is it that I am going with this stuff you ask? Well, the struggle to get my son to put his effort into helping around the house has been hard. He gets distracted so easy and I can't really babysit him while he does his chores to make sure they are done. If I did that I would NEVER get any of my stuff done either. We have tried using an allowance where if your chores are not done you have to pay the person who does them. That did not work at all. We have tried him getting things taken away, being grounded, mom asking kindly, encouragement, chore charts, chore charts with a mark off that it is done area, we have tried losing privileges, wii time and D.S. time being earned for them being done, and losing time for the not being done. I have read books, and followed said books too. Nothing really worked really well for us to say the least.
Then I tried a simple thing, I think that the Lord blessed my mind with the idea. This simple thing is found on all cell phones. It is called a timer. He sets the timer for 30 mins (that is his cleaning, chore doing time) then he gets to set it for 10 mins of play time. During this play time he can play anything he wants, wii, 3D ds, movies, shows, outside play, computer, well you get the idea. He gets to choose to do anything during that 10 mins. Once the 10 mins are up he reset the timer for another 30 mins. This goes on and on until his chores or tasks that he needs to get done are finished.
It has been a 360 of a change. I do not have to argue with him, I praise him for the good work he is doing, the effort he is making, for his follow through, and working hard when the task is hard. I am so proud of him. I do not have to do anything. He does it all, he cleans, he plays, he sets the timers and he gets to enjoy the rewards of his work. The coolest part is that when he gets started on a task there are a few times that he will continue to work, putting off his play time until he finishes the task that he is currently working on. This is his doing, not my suggesting him to do so. It has been very nice to not have to yell, fight, argue, demand, punish, or lose my mind. He checks the timer as he plays to see how much time he has left to play but does not check it while he is cleaning. Once more that is his doing and idea not mine.
We are also beginning to use said timer to help with dinner time and lunch time too, because those take FOREVER of him to finish also. Who knew (well I am sure a lot of you do) that a simple thing that is on every cell phone could change my son so dramatically as well as make my life so much easier. Yes, I know that the rewards and being able to see the reward helps him. I also know that this is helping to teach/train his mind to focus for small amounts of time but then give his head some fun time. What this timer is doing will bless his mind and him throughout his coming life. Being ADHD is a huge struggle for him but we are beginning to learn how to channel it and use it in a way that helps him to have success and a wonderful quality of life. I am one very proud, happy, and blessed single mother. Thank you Heavenly Father.
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| Dallin enjoying his first ever funnel cake :D |
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