This last week was fun, crazy, sad, stressful, hurtful, and eventful. I have learned much about myself and also learned that maybe being single for a while longer is in my path. I hate that idea but if what I really want isn't here right now, then I guess I have to wait. I have also learned that peoples honesty is different than what mine is. This means I shouldn't judge them on what I think and feel but just sit back and accept them for who they are.
I have also learned this last week that to love someone despite the choice they make is VERY hard to do. People are doing what they feel is right and best. People get lost in their hurt and pain and forget to truly think of others not just themselves. People are selfish and often say they are thinking of other but in truth they are only thinking of themselves and what they want or feel.
Another thing I learned is that I HATE seeing my friends hurt. I hate seeing pain put on them by others. It makes me rather upset. With that thought, I am learning to let things go. That what someone does to someone else is not for me to stress and worry about. They need to work it out with that person not me. Once more I don't have to agree with what they do but I need to love them if I am really their friend. This is sometimes VERY hard to do. To love someone as the Lord loves them is not such an easy task.
Lastly is that I am human, I make human mistakes, and I in no way am any better than anyone else in this world, but those who love me will love me for me. They accept me for my short comings, and mistakes. They just ask that I take ownership for those and say and mean "I am sorry" when I make a mistake.
Where in the world is this year going to take me, I have NO IDEA. What is going to happen this year? I have NO IDEA. Am I going to get through this year a better person? I have every idea that YES I WILL. The struggles I am struggling with are hard on me but the life I am living is a blessing to me and others. I need to do better at being a stronger member in my church, but in truth each of us needs to. You can walk away from God and blame him for everything or you can understand that life happens, and he is there to bless you despite reality.
One day I pray I will get the chance to love once more, to be with someone who I can grow old with but the truth is that it is just a hope and a prayer. It might never become a reality. Watching my best friend get married was amazing, but I was also jealous because she gets to spend her life with someone else, while I am still single. It is hard but the truth is that I am SO happy for her and excited to see her grow old with Josh. Katee I will love you always and forever, you too Josh (I guess, lol). Thanks for sharing this time with me today.
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