Thursday, June 17, 2010

Today's Thoughts

I should be in bed. It is late and I need sleep.  Yet, I had to come and post my thoughts before I go to bed.  I was just laying next to Dallin in bed.  My mind started to wonder off to thinking how just 3 1/2 years ago I was with Dayna.  That Dallin wasn't even one yet and how hard life was but it was still very good.  I just thought wow how I miss Dayna so much still.  Yea its not as hard each day but I do not miss him any less.  Time doesn't change the hurt its just easier to deal with, with more time.  My heart still hurts when I think about Dayna.  I still miss him with each breath that I breath.  The breathing is different now but there is still missing in it. 

I sit and think about how my world stopped the day I lost him.  That its still not turning right but it hard to start once more for Dallin.  For me even.  I never thought I would be where I am today.  Doing what I am and achieving what I am.  I know that Dayna watches over us and that I am blessed.  God does have a special place in his heart for widows.  God grants me so many wonderful blessings that often I forget to say thank you for them all.  I am grateful for each and every one of them.  I know that God watches over us and guides my life.

Dayna how I wish you were still here.  How much I miss just talking to you and cuddling next to you.  You made me feel so loved and treasured.  I know that you loved me more than anything.  I know that we were meant to find each other.  You are my prince and I can't wait to see you once more.  To have you hold me and just kiss away my fears.  I miss you silly jokes.  I miss your smell.  I miss you honey.  It is still hard to breath without.  You will forever be in my heart.  I love you Boo.

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