I should be in bed. It is late and I need sleep. Yet, I had to come and post my thoughts before I go to bed. I was just laying next to Dallin in bed. My mind started to wonder off to thinking how just 3 1/2 years ago I was with Dayna. That Dallin wasn't even one yet and how hard life was but it was still very good. I just thought wow how I miss Dayna so much still. Yea its not as hard each day but I do not miss him any less. Time doesn't change the hurt its just easier to deal with, with more time. My heart still hurts when I think about Dayna. I still miss him with each breath that I breath. The breathing is different now but there is still missing in it.
I sit and think about how my world stopped the day I lost him. That its still not turning right but it hard to start once more for Dallin. For me even. I never thought I would be where I am today. Doing what I am and achieving what I am. I know that Dayna watches over us and that I am blessed. God does have a special place in his heart for widows. God grants me so many wonderful blessings that often I forget to say thank you for them all. I am grateful for each and every one of them. I know that God watches over us and guides my life.
Dayna how I wish you were still here. How much I miss just talking to you and cuddling next to you. You made me feel so loved and treasured. I know that you loved me more than anything. I know that we were meant to find each other. You are my prince and I can't wait to see you once more. To have you hold me and just kiss away my fears. I miss you silly jokes. I miss your smell. I miss you honey. It is still hard to breath without. You will forever be in my heart. I love you Boo.
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