What is coming up for 2011

Alright I know everyone wants to know why I think 2011 is going to be so wonderful and what is going on to make it so. Well to start with I am teaching on class at UVU it is an upper level behavioral science class, it all about the family dynamics and system and theories.  I am SO excited to teach what I have been learning about for the last 3 years.  I am scared out of my mind but very excited.  Jan 5 isn't that far way for this adventure to begin.

Then on June 10, 2011 I walk for my graduation.  I won't be done with classes until July 22 but glad I get to walk early so I don't have to wait a whole year just to cause my practicum class is not over yet.  That reminds my I can't wait for July 22.  Classes will be done and even though the semester goes for another month.  I am hoping to be done with my hours and done.  Lucky they will post my degree once my hours are completed.  I am doing really well in my classes and am really loving my education and experience that I am getting. I am so glad I chose this as a career and can't wait for it to be my full-time job.  (where ever that takes me, hoping for St. George).

Next, I am going to go on a cruise in July/Aug as a graduation present for myself.  I am hoping all works out to leave Dallin with grandma and papa for a week while I take some time to myself and whatever friends want to come along.  Everyone is invited but who knows who will really come along with me. I haven't taken a vacation since Aug 2006 with Dayna to see his family in Iowa. I don't ever leave my son other than for an over night for class reason.  So that is right I am going away without my little man for a week and I can't wait.  I will miss his terribly but I need a break and a vacation by myself.

Then this is the really exciting part, I am going to go on vacation with little man to Disneyland next year around Christmas time.  I am going to take him for 2 or 3 days to Disneyland, Sea World (Dayna's favorite place to go in CA he LOVED it and wanted to take Dallin when he was older so bad), and the zoo, and then I believe to Lego land.   So this will be a great memory with little man and one I know Dayna will come along for the journey with in spirit. 

Of course there is getting a new job and quitting my current one.  I am not so excited to leave Lori on of my best friends but I am excited to leave some negative people behind.  I am so excited to get the chance to be a full-time therapist and to have a job I really enjoy that challenges me.  Who knows really where that will take me TX, ID, WA, OR, MT, CO, WY, UT, and whatever God wants me to go.  SO EXCITED for this.

I also get to take this get Marriage and Family Therapist exam which has me stressed out major but at the same time I know I can do it as long as God is with me.  I am scared cause it cost $400.00 a shot and I don't want to pay that twice. 

I wonder if this next year will bring us the chance to find another man in our lives.  One who will love my son, want a few more children, who will respect that I am always going to be Sealed to Dayna, one who knows that Dayna will always be apart of our lives, and who will love me.  It is hard being lonely and being a single parent.  I miss my best friend, late night cuddles with movies and games.  Will this year be the right year and time?  We will see, we will see.

We love you all and hope your 2011 year will be as wonderful as ours.

Changing it up a bit

So I know that I say this a lot but God really does watch over me and bless me even when I am not sure I deserve it.  So last week I talk to Jack up at UVU health center. Guess what????  I get to work up there for some of my practicum hours.  This is an answer to some prayers and lots of thoughts.  I was getting all the hours amount that I needed but am not getting experience in individual or couples.  So this will at least get me some couples and a lot more individual hours that I need.  I am so happy for answered prayers and blessings.  Things are working out well for me.  Also the day I walk for graduation is June 10.  My last class will be over by July 22.  I am so darn excited that I just can't tell you.  I know how pleased Dayna is in what I have been doing these last four years and I can feel just how proud he is of me.   I just wish he could be here with me to party it up for finishing.  I know he will be here in spirit but for this its just not the same.  I miss him and wish he came to check in on us more often than he does.  I love and miss you Dayna.  I can't wait to see you once more.  Love you

me

I'm trying but in truth I am just tired.

You know that song from primary "I'm trying to be like Jesus"?  Well not only and I trying to be like Jesus but I am just plain trying.  I am at the end of my rope in so many ways and places.  I am bugged with all the crap and drama at my job (which really I shouldn't care but each day I get more and more bugged).  I am tried of people thinking just cause I am friends with my boss that she NEVER get mads, upset, or corrects me.  When in fact I get it all the time, in fact I just got it once more today, 4 out of the 5 days last week.  Guess it just shows that I can be grown up and still be her friend even though she does her job at making me better in my work and life.  I am tired of not getting a REAL vacation with my and and right now even more without him. I am trying to keep in mind that this summer ours are coming.  I am trying to love those I really don't like (really having a hard time with this one).  I am trying to get finished with my master's even though I am not happy at my practicum site.  I am trying to get my house cleaned and organized even though I never have time and lately I am always so tired.  I am trying to get everything ready to teach my class at UVU even though it seems like I can never get ahead or feel really ready.  I am trying to have patience with my son but by the end of really long days, no vacation, never ending schooling, being a single mother, worn out physically and emotionally, and just plan spent on my last dime I find myself losing it more than I should with him.  This makes me so sad cause he is not to blame for the stress at my job, the stress at my practicum site, or the other stresses that I have and yet he is the one I get impatience with.  I feel like a bad mother right now.  I have so much on my plate that I don't know if I can function o.k. without it all.  Yet, at the same time I need to get a few things out of the way so when I get home I am not taking it all out on him.  In the midst of trying I realized that the person I need to be close to I am not.  I have been slacking on my daily prayers and you know what right now I need them.  I really, really, really need them. So tonight I will make a commitment to do them daily. To allow Jesus back in where he belongs.  Everything else will all workout in time.  Sometimes it takes a lot of patience, time, love, and just change.  Just know that right now is hard for me. I am not a big fan of this time of year and so that is adding to my crappy attitude.  I know I need to change but sometime that is the hardest thing to do and take a while to get a good return on it.  Thank you friends for all you do and help me with.  :o)