Where am I going and what do I want to do with my life??

As I sit wondering if I am going down the right path in my life.  I wonder, what next?  I could stay where I am at but that doesn't feel right.  I want to move closer to family but moving might mean losing my student loan repayment help.  $20,000 a year of loan repayment on a single parents income is a huge amount.  

The problem is my job isn't taking care of me fully.  My medical insurance claims have not been paid in 2 years.  There is no plan to get them paid anytime soon, which means I need to get a lawyer.  This adds to my list of things to do and burdens.  Should I just give up and walk away?  I am the only one paying into my 401K.  I have no sick leave, no dental insurance, and my medical claims is a HUGE issue.  My son has ADHD and a heart condition which means he NEEDS the medical insurance.  I have type 1 diabetes so I NEED the medical insurance.  It's not getting paid is affecting my credit.  I can't keep up with the claims to keep them out of collections.  My max out of pocket is $2,000 but my not paid is over $100,000.   AUGH I am so frustrated and I just don't know what I want to do or what is right to do.  

I am praying but truth is I don't know what I should be praying for.  I can't pin point what I what or want I truly need because I feel like I need all of the following. A new job, medical getting paid, a man in my life, a new start, moving.  There is so much, that I can't figure things out.

I believe stress is what I walk around with each day.  It is something that I get used to but maybe that isn't what is best for me.  I am trying, reading scriptures daily, family prayers, personal prayers (I can do better with this one), going to church, paying tithing, and fast offerings.  Is that enough?

Recently I have been thinking what do I need answered this general conference.  What is it that I am needing that the Lord can guide me with this conference.  What do I need to be praying on that I need to be addressed in general conference.  

What I am scared about?........

Sit back and look again

I am having an interesting time in my personal life right now.  I have two guys that I am getting to know.  One I really don't think is the right fit for me but we haven't met.  Right now I feel he is a bit pushy and doesn't respect my answers that I give.  This bothers me very much but we are just starting to get to know each other so maybe I am just misreading it all and as I get to know him better I will find it isn't what I think it is.  

The second is someone who has been in and out of my life for years.  It never seems to workout with us but we keep coming back to each other.  He gets scared, I get pushy.  Well, you get our wonderful pattern.  Todays post is really about him and an insight into the way I think vs. the way he thinks.  Today I was on Skype wanting so badly to talk with him.  Well, he sends a Hello and then nothing.   I was like what?  Why do that, why even say "hi" if your can't even chat with me.  Then later he started to talk with me a bit more but not regular just here and there.  I was still thinking why are you doing this.  If you don't have time for me then don't even start.  I want all your time.  Then it hit me.  He would rather say hi then not say hi.  He couldn't give me all his time due to working but he wanted me to know he was there, he was thinking of me, and that he wanted to give me something rather than nothing at all.  He later asked if I could give him an hour then he would have more time for me.  This helped me to see that he is thinking about me.  That he wants me to know that but that due to work he couldn't just stop and giving me 100% of his attention right then but he wanted to give me something.  When I released that it helped settle my thoughts and emotions down. I have released through this that sometimes you need to look at things a different way or a few different ways before you see the real answer behind things.  Maybe just maybe ** Wishing on my Star**