WOW

Jan is almost over. Only another week and half left and then on to Feb. Time sure does fly lately in our lives. It seems like just yesterday Dayna and I were home with a baby and now that baby is a 4 yr old little man. On the 5th of Feb I will have been without Dayna for 3 years. How can that be. Life has brought good times and bad times. Lately more good times. I am learning that life is always a struggle. There are always going to be hard times but its finding those moments of joy in the hard times that show you who you are.
This last few months have been so hard for me, so many of the people I care about most have been hurting. I have watched them struggle to find themselves in times of needs. I have watched as God has brought out their weakness and turned them into strengths. Watching those you love grow and become something better than they were is just amazing. Yet, I have to say its the hardest thing I have had to do lately is watch those I love hurt so much and there is nothing I can do for them but listen. I guess that is all there is at times for someone to do, is just be there. This process is also causing me to grow and change also. As my friend Lori would say "You are a fixer." I just want to go and fix everything for everyone. I am having to learn that I need to keep my mouth shut and my ears open more. Everyone has the ability to solve their own problems. So many times they don't need or even want my advice they just need some to vent to. This has been hard sometimes to do cause when the ones you love hurt you just want to stop that pain anyway you can. The thing is that sometimes their pain is just what they need and I just need to let them go through it and be there when they seek me out.
So my new years goal is to listen more. I have decided that is what God wishes for me to work on also since that is the current trials I seem to be suffering from right now. I know I can learn a lot about me during this process of growth.
To those friends in my life who are suffering. Know you are loved and watched over. That I, along with others are watching you and seeing the changes that are happening in your life. You are a stronger person. You have to ability to make it through these hard times. Also know that I love you. That I am proud of each of you and the wonderful things I see happening in your life. May God bless you and watch over.

Love,
me

2009 what a year :)

What a wonderful year 2009 has ended up being. Lets see what all happened this year. I have been a single mother for 3 years. Wow that just flew by. Dallin turned 4 and is so tall (75%). I finished my BS degree in Psychology with a minor in Deaf Studies. I did it I think that other than being a mother is one of the greatest things I have done in my life. Then this fall semester I started my Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy. I even passed my first semester. Good job me. I started to really date this year. It took me a while to find someone I wanted to keep around for awhile. Yet, it was nice to find a few men that seemed to want to be with me and Dallin but it took quite some time to find the right one. Now that I believe I have found him I couldn't be happier. Just the thought of him puts a smile on my face. It has also been wonderful to find someone that Dallin loves also. It been a emotionally hard year at the same time. I have had dear friends move away from me to areas that I know I will hardly ever get to. Also I have seen some of the people I love most hurt and go through such hard times in their own lives. It has been hard to watch other that I love hurt so much and know I just have to let go through their the hard times with only being able to be there and listen. I think one of the hardest things for me to do is to have to watch those I love suffer. Yet, in each experience I have been blessed by what I have gained in my friendships with them. I have watched God bless and refine my friends during their trials.
Another wonderful experience this year has been watching my little man grow up. He is now 4 and just growing and learning so much. He knows his planets, continents, animals in the rain forest, numbers, letters, and now is learning to spell and read. Someone please stop him from growing up so fast on me. He just loves to learn. He loves his momma. He is a challenge but worth it all. I am so blessed to have him and his love.
This next year will bring great things. I new start, continuation with my master's, a new place to live, and in the end I hope a new car (suv). Oh and I want something sparkly on my finger sooner than later. Each day is a new day with new things to learn and grow from. I am nervous and scared about the new things that will be coming into my life but also excited and just want them already. 2010 is shaping up to be a wonderful, eventful, and exciting year. Come back and check in often for updates. There should be many this year. YIPPY :)