Have you ever done something because you couldn't stay in the situation you were in? Walking away from something is sometimes one of the hardest things you will ever do. I did that last night. It wasn't easy, it wasn't what I wanted, but the situation as it was turning out wasn't what was best for me. I want to share what I have learned though as I look back on it.
1. Meeting someone else's needs at a loss of your own never brings happiness. You can try to justify it by saying, in time, when this happens, or one day, but the truth is if it isn't there now, there is a good chance it never will be.
2. It is important to learn about yourself and be able to look at yourself and say "Why are you doing this?" For me it wasn't to try to get the guy to learn what he was missing or try to make him make a choice. It was because I truly wasn't happy in how the situation was turning out.
3. It is O.K. to cry and let the emotions out. That doesn't make you weak, it means you feel and are able to care for and about others along with yourself. Tears truly have healing powers, they can do things for your soul that no other thing (other than prayer I have found) can do.
4. Learn your love language and find someone who can give you that love language. I thought mine was a tie between physical touch and quality time. This situation taught me that quality time is my first and physical touch comes second. The less time talking, chatting, and getting to know this guy was causing me to feel unwanted, unneeded, unimportant, and in a way not cared about. I need someone who has time for me and isn't taking time that could be spent investing in us, investing it in me and who know how many other people.
5. Be honest, don't hide your feelings, thoughts, or voice. If any relationship is going to work you need to be able to talk about the good as well as the bad. If you can't be honest with them no matter how hard it is, in time that is going to come back and bite you. When it dose bite, it will bite hard.
6. When walking away be kind. Be careful of the words you use. Don't talk or say something out of anger. That usually is the anger talking. Let those thoughts and words sit before you say them. If you write a letter, email, or chat reread them before you send them and maybe even let them sit for a day or two first.
7. If you find yourself shutting down or withdrawing. Address it and right away. I was pulling back, trying to give him his space, but in truth I was also protecting myself from getting hurt. Did he deserve that pull back? I don't really know how to answer that but he got it.
All right. These are just a few things that I have been thinking about. Today has been just a yucky day with sad emotions because of a hope for something better a new beginning. That belief in something amazing is what got me to stay though even though my needs weren't being met. To walk away is hard but in truth it was best for now. Could there be a further with this person? I don't truly know. My future is in the Lords hand and only he can answer that question.
1. Meeting someone else's needs at a loss of your own never brings happiness. You can try to justify it by saying, in time, when this happens, or one day, but the truth is if it isn't there now, there is a good chance it never will be.
2. It is important to learn about yourself and be able to look at yourself and say "Why are you doing this?" For me it wasn't to try to get the guy to learn what he was missing or try to make him make a choice. It was because I truly wasn't happy in how the situation was turning out.
3. It is O.K. to cry and let the emotions out. That doesn't make you weak, it means you feel and are able to care for and about others along with yourself. Tears truly have healing powers, they can do things for your soul that no other thing (other than prayer I have found) can do.
4. Learn your love language and find someone who can give you that love language. I thought mine was a tie between physical touch and quality time. This situation taught me that quality time is my first and physical touch comes second. The less time talking, chatting, and getting to know this guy was causing me to feel unwanted, unneeded, unimportant, and in a way not cared about. I need someone who has time for me and isn't taking time that could be spent investing in us, investing it in me and who know how many other people.
5. Be honest, don't hide your feelings, thoughts, or voice. If any relationship is going to work you need to be able to talk about the good as well as the bad. If you can't be honest with them no matter how hard it is, in time that is going to come back and bite you. When it dose bite, it will bite hard.
6. When walking away be kind. Be careful of the words you use. Don't talk or say something out of anger. That usually is the anger talking. Let those thoughts and words sit before you say them. If you write a letter, email, or chat reread them before you send them and maybe even let them sit for a day or two first.
7. If you find yourself shutting down or withdrawing. Address it and right away. I was pulling back, trying to give him his space, but in truth I was also protecting myself from getting hurt. Did he deserve that pull back? I don't really know how to answer that but he got it.
All right. These are just a few things that I have been thinking about. Today has been just a yucky day with sad emotions because of a hope for something better a new beginning. That belief in something amazing is what got me to stay though even though my needs weren't being met. To walk away is hard but in truth it was best for now. Could there be a further with this person? I don't truly know. My future is in the Lords hand and only he can answer that question.
No comments:
Post a Comment